Allison Temple Blog

Awkward and Thoroughly Kissable

100 Days - Choosing Our Family

photo-1451471016731-e963a8588be8Reasons I didn't want to work out today:

  1. When the cold meds finally wore off today, it turns out I'm still not better

This cold, man, is kicking my ass. I have a Christmas party to go to this weekend, and I'm starting to worry I'm not going to make it.

More importantly though, this weekend is the Adoption Resource Exchange.

My husband and I are choosing adoption to start our family. I say choosing because, despite our struggles, adoption is not our last resort. In fact, being pregnant was never my goal. Having a family is.

The Adoption Resource Exchange is an event that happens twice a year in a conference centre out near the airport. Children's Aid Societies from across the province and present profiles for kids they're having trouble placing in their communities. This is significant because the CASs in Ontario are individually run, and as prospective parents in Toronto, it is very difficult for us to access kids in other regions, no matter how badly they may need families.

The ARE is this weird hybrid that's part trade show, part speed dating. It's like trying to pick a puppy at the shelter, except not at all, because these kids often have complex needs and they're going to be yours for the rest of your life.

So it's totally overwhelming, is that what you're saying, Allison?

Why yes, that's it in a nutshell.

To help manage expectations, a list is sent out a week in advance. You get access to pictures and videos (which are almost always adorable) and profiles listing needs and challenges (which are often scary). It's a really humbling experience, to review the information provided, take a long hard look at your spouse and yourself, and decide that no matter how cute the kid is, and no matter how many times we see their name come up on the list (this will be our third ARE and there are kids who were on the list last year, and will probably still be there next year), we just aren't suited to parent that child.

So that's what I did tonight, instead of working out. Hubby and I looked at  a list of over 120 kids, and whittled it down to 10. By the time we've spoken to the workers this weekend, there will probably only be one or two left who would still be a good fit for us, and for whom we'd be a good fit as parents. It's long and frustrating, but we have to keep doing it.

One of these days, we're going to choose a child and make our family.

Here's an adoption haiku:

Patiently waiting Not always easy for us Choosing our family

100 Day Summary Day 11 — I've been exercising my heart tonight Minutes today — 0 Total minutes — 270

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